I've been doing way too much flying lately.

Have you ever noticed that the pre-flight safety briefing starts with instructions on “how to buckle a seat belt” and moves without pause through “activating your on-board oxygen mask” to “transforming safety slides into liferafts in the case of a water landing”? I'd like to think that there are people who can step up the plate at the level of not knowing how to work a belt buckle but, by the end of a depressurization and water-crash, detaching the safety slides into 16-person rafts.