In celebration of my family history and 40th birthday, from now on I get to have a colonoscopy every five years. When the nurse asked "April 15?" I said "Tax day? Seems appropriate!" And then, just to make sure that I was in prime condition, last weekend I came down with a middle ear infection, for which I couldn't even take aspirin because of the colonoscopy. Ever had an ear infection? Ever time you swallow it feels like you're having acupuncture and they say "Eh, screw it," and just slap the needles home with a brick.

As you can guess, I've been in a swell mood. Ever seen a cat in a vet's office? I've been like that: alternating between fury and misery.

P.S. The colonoscopy came out fine. As I left they gave me a series of photos of my insides, but I'm going to file that under "too much information."

P.P.S. I can understand this whole post might be "too much information," but I thought the confluence of miseries would provide some schadenfreude.